After a terrible tragedy, many people experience an intense emotional reaction that may not show up for weeks or even months afterward. Mental health clinicians call this reaction post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you have suffered a traumatic loss, you may feel numb right afterward. But later, many confusing and debilitating feelings may come up, and you may not link them to the tragic event. Even if you were not on the scene of the tragedy, you may still be traumatized. You may be terrified it could happen again. You may not be able to sleep by yourself and need lights on to chase away the darkness.
If you are experiencing some of the following symptoms, tell your parents and/or school counselor and get help immediately if you have:
Recurring nightmares of the event
Flashbacks and hallucinations
Intense anxiety whenever you hear of a similar event
Avoidance of any feelings or thoughts concerning the tragedy
Avoidance of any activities or situations that would remind you of the tragedy
Preoccupation with the tragedy many months after it occurred
Lack of recall: blank spots in your memory
A significant decrease in your interest in normal activities at home or school
Depression combined with increased feelings of sadness, loneliness and hopelessness
Detachment and withdrawal from your friends and family
Feelings of “survivor guilt.” Feeling you should have died or perhaps taking chances and doing some self-destructive or self-defeating behavior
Inability to experience emotions, to feel happy or to love someone
Avoidance of close relationships out of fear that you will be left alone again
Being overwhelmed with emotions – tense, angry, scared and out of control
Feeling like you have no future, are unable to date, marry or have a career
Problems with increased use of alcohol or drugs
New problems not previously experienced, in falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much
Irritability or outbursts of anger directed at your family, friends or teachers
Difficulty in concentrating on things you usually enjoy, such as reading and listening to music
Easily startled, jumping at any unusual or loud noise
Physical symptoms such as cold sweat, rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath whenever you are reminded of the tragedy
Recurring recollections of the death/trauma that are disrupting your home, school or leisure time
Keep a journal and record and date your symptoms. You can use it to document your most private feelings and track how you feel over time. It is a normal part of your grief if you feel any of the above symptoms right away. But if they persist, do get some guidance. It is of utmost importance to find people you can talk to. Talking about how you feel may help you feel better. Talk about what you saw, what you heard, what you smelled and what you feared. Don’t hide your feelings, or they may come back at a later time.
Here are some other things you can do to help yourself:
Talk about the event as much as you are able to, and urge your friends to do the same. Ask a counselor to set up informal talk groups. Every time you go over the event, it loses some power and the hold it has on you.
Have patience with yourself; healing may take a long time.
Learn to meditate, lose yourself in some music, take walks and visit a peaceful place such as a park, church or library.
Take care of your physical needs. Eat healthy foods, keep up with your exercise program and get enough rest.
Stay involved with your family, friends and school. Keep up a regular schedule and stick to old routines as best as you can.
Have patience with your parents; they are not going to let you out of their sight. Time will help them relax their need to control.
Source: American Hospice Foundation
